The Greatest Sentence Ever*

*IMHO

I'm a HUGE Dr. Hunter S. Thompson fan. The Gonzo journalism, the scathing writing, the ability to be both truthful and funny...all, to me, amazing stuff. I can sit for hours thumbing through his books reading only favorite sentences or paragraphs I've marked previously. The other day, I came across again what I consider perhaps the Greatest Sentence Ever Written, which also applies to my life right now. It's from his book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

"Into the Ballantine Ale now, zombie drunk and nervous."

Amazing! It's an entire three-act play in one sentence. "Into the Ballantine Ale now" speaks to the past. What's happened that's led him to drink? What was he drinking before? etc. "Zombie drunk"; the now. We've all been there, literally or figuratively. And then the kicker: "and nervous." Boom! What's coming, the future. Nervous about what? What evil/danger lurks just around the next corner (or, in this case, on the following page)? I defy anyone to read that sentence and not have to read the following sentence.

I'm in a "and nervous" stage right now. One of my clients, the Nord family, which manages vineyards in Napa Valley, wanted to hold a dinner for the wineries who purchase their fruit. But how do you get people to actually come to an event...when all the events start to sound and seem the same??? So on a take-off of "Big Night," we decided to announce that the famous wine critic Robert Parker would be attending as our guest. What winery would dare miss the opportunity to have Robert Parker taste their wines??? They'd HAVE to attend the dinner.

Now, like in the movie, we don't expect him to attend. But before he received our invitation, someone had forwarded to him our "announcement" that he would be attending. His assistant called the Nords. Robert Parker was very upset; this dinner was not on his schedule; etc., etc. Soothing sounds were made. Ruffled feathers were somehow smoothed.... And thus my "and nervous." What if he doesn't have a sense of humor? What if he's pissed and forever black-lists the attending wineries, NEVER REVIEWING THEM???

On the other hand, what is he does has a sense of humor---maybe even a soul---an actually shows up??? What if he comes and tastes and ends up putting several of the wineries on the map, so to speak, via his reviews???

This will all be resolved soon. The dinner is next week. Time has a way, so they say, of catching up to us one and all. In the meantime, don't be surprised to see a post from me in the next couple-three days along the lines of "Into the Nord Estate Wines Jonquil Vineyards Petite Sirah, semi-drunk...and nervous."

P.S. The Nord family also produces a line of high-quality, low production---i.e., awesome---wines under Nord Estate Wines. Check em out.