Friday, August 17, 2007

LV: So Be What?

So I’m standing at the urinal at SFO doing, well, what men do standing at urinals at places like airports and ballparks when I start to read, on the shelf in front of me, the back label text of someone’s nearly-finished (and obviously discarded) bottle of SoBe “flavored beverage” (Nirvana Mango Melon, for you SoBe connoisseurs). Of all the writing and nutritional gobbledygook on the back of the bottle, my eyes instinctively (or so it seems) settle on the company’s tagline. (What can I say; I’m a marketing/tagline-kind of guy.) The tagline? Shake the lizard. (This is the honest to God’s truth; I wish I was this creative to make this kind of stuff up.) Anyway, I read on and discover that this particular bottle of SoBe has 50 MG of Hibiscus, 50 MG of Ginseng, and 50 MG of Astragalus. Astragalus? wtf? Does ANYBODY have the slightest clue what that is? What, is this supposed to throw us off the fact that SoBe has 30 GRAMS of SUGAR??? Are we not supposed to “get” that this is sugar-water? SoBe, you be so uncool….

1 comment:

ckderum26 said...

As a frequent reader of Every Meal A Feast and ALSO a frequent reader of all food labels, I felt that we needed to educate fellow readers on this mysterious ingredient.

Latin name: Astragalus membranaceus

Other names: Milk Vetch Root, Huang-qi (Yellow Leader)

A Remedy For

Tendency to infection
Weak heart

Astragalus boosts the immune system. It's taken for a variety of conditions that can benefit from improved resistance, including acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS), burns and abscesses, chronic colds and flu, fatigue, night sweats, and loss of appetite. It has been used in the treatment of heart failure, liver disease, and kidney ailments. It's also taken to counter the toxic effects of cancer treatment and to relieve the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.

Consider yourself schooled